Our sponsorship funds helped contribute to “scholarships” for those seeking financial support for the infertility treatment and/or third-party reproductive services needed to build their families. This year, three winners shared their stories. Below, you’ll find an excerpt from the final Journey to Parenthood winner’s essay:
“I met my husband in 2005. He had his own struggles with identity, and came out relatively late. We have always shared a deep desire to have a family. When we married in 2009, it felt like a miracle; the healing of a wound I didn’t understand I even had. Following the wedding, we began making plans for having a family of our own. We researched all methods, and decided that financially and emotionally, adoption was the right choice for us to expand our family.
The process was emotional, and beautiful, and when we held our son in our arms for the first time, we both felt the completion of a circle. Many couples come to alternate methods of expanding their families through enormous grief and trauma. As a two-dad family, we never had expectations of being able to reproduce without outside help. We didn’t enter into this process with sadness, but with a sense of gratitude and hope that at last, we could have the family we envisioned, give our children a world of opportunities, and participate more fully in our community.
Parenting has provided us both with a sense of purpose and drawn us closer together as we learn about how to provide for this soul we have been entrusted with. Our son is hilarious, challenging, smart, sweet, and at times frustrating. I imagine he thinks the same of us. Many people have said that we are so generous for adopting a child. But it has never felt that way to me. It is the greatest privilege of my life to be able to provide for him. Our son is very social and has formed close bonds with a number of friends. Several times a week my husband and I talk about our desire to give our son a big brother. For about a year now, we have been trying to figure out how to expand our family. In the final analysis, we decided we would very much like to adopt again, we have the financial and emotional resources to raise another child. We feel our family is still missing a piece, and dearly hope we are able to find away to bring that missing piece home.
Paying for the process is the huge hurdle, especially with our existing responsibilities.
I worked nonstop for the year preceding our son’s birth. As a yoga teacher, my work is meaningful, and important. But like most meaningful important work, it isn’t well compensated. We had managed to save the entire fee our first adoption during that time. I can’t work additional hours as I did before our son, as I am needed at home to parent.
My husband works for Hasbro, and has consistency and benefits. He is a stable provider for his family. His salary covers our living expenses. We could use a home equity line of credit, but are hesitant to take on credit to finance the adoption, as servicing the debt would likely be tough with two kids at home. We feel a bit of time pressure, as I am approaching 40 and would like to begin the process, the timeline can be lengthy and it is unknown.
We have mixed feelings about asking for help. We have always been very independent, but when we were introduced to your organization, we decided that we would turn in an application, as we’re passionate about giving our son a sibling and rounding out our family.
We are hopeful that you give us careful consideration for the grant. As it turns out, a lack of a uterus is perhaps the most intractable fertility problem. We need help to create our home. We are dedicated to providing opportunity and love for who otherwise might not have the kind of future we are committed to providing.”
Fertility Solutions would like to send our congratulations and best wishes to the third Journey to Parenthood scholarship winner.